This was all I ever needed.
Today my entire world stopped for a few seconds and perhaps that was the dose of adrenaline I needed to remember everything I’ve ever wanted to be. Almost suddenly, every color had an identity. Shades of red danced beautifully with my own translucent tears and reminded me that I was alive. The iridescence was riveting as it reflected an elevation I’d never reach by foot.The peaks were bold, fluid, and invited my soul to silence itself and become intertwined with nature’s greatest beauty. I’ve said this before but the mountains have a way of humbling those courageous enough to gaze upon them. I became entranced almost instantly and the world around me began to slow.
There’s something everlasting about time. Something so incomprehensible that it leaves one without wording. Have you ever been so happy that you felt as if it would last forever? A good day, a great accomplishment, a new bond established that seems unbreakable. It’s exhilarating. The smiles upon your face begin to become time consuming in all of their duration. You begin to think that life has never been better and I guess my question is at what point does that feeling go away? When does the ‘best day ever’ end? When does the smile fade and what exactly triggers such a reaction? I think happiness comes in waves. We spend our entire life fostering a relationship with this peculiar emotion but it’s never permanent. We invest.. and build. We educate and develop ourselves emotionally, financially, physically as well as philosophically. It’s common knowledge that everyone’s end goal is being content.. “happy..” But maybe, just maybe, the key to happiness is knowing that it only comes around every once in a while and cherishing it when it does. Sort of like a holiday or birthday.
I closed my eyes and everything came rushing back to me similar to an opioid silencing pain receptors in a swift wave-like motion. I saw palm trees and before I could take in a full breath, they became evergreen. The beach was beautiful some days and others, it was so foggy that I could just barely see my hand in front of me. I encountered luxury and could never really register it’s truest intentions. Gold was shiny, driveways were paved, and chandeliers distracted me from the person I was becoming. I’d become robotic. Mechanical. Stagnant. Computerized. Programmed. The latter all the reason why I desperately needed something to stay the same. I needed to find meaning in my every day life. Hotel rooms all become the same. Do not disturb placards are failed attempts at bargaining with the world for one more hour of relaxation. For just one more hour, there was no maid. No flights. No long drives. No adventures. An exhilarating comfort in knowing that there would be no change for just a while longer.
I opened my eyes and for once I saw a familiar image. It was gentle. Fear stood not a chance in the face of an phenomenon so precipitous. The weather changed. There was ice and then there was not. Sometimes the moon came out to play and even in it’s darkness I could still see them standing there, looking back at me, waiting for me to come home. Life’s pretty crazy. I’ve just turned twenty two and yet it is a fourteener that has given me life.
-Bianca Raquel Nieves